Mary
Mary’s Journey: Finding Strength in Adoption
A mother’s courageous decision and the healing that followed
“Now being a birthmother myself, I know it is the hardest decision of any mother’s life, especially if they are alone in the process.”
How did Foster Care Adoption Home help you choose adoption?
Foster Care Adoption Home helped me choose adoption by sending me their information packet and being there whenever I needed to ask a question. I called several times and no matter what question I asked they were always willing and caring. If I called crying and in tears, they would still be kind and courteous and just listen to what I would say and then talk to me as I was someone they had always known.
What were your concerns going into the adoption process?
I had so many concerns when choosing adoption, but my biggest fear was choosing adoption and when the baby was born, not wanting to place him and breaking the adoptive family’s heart. The fear I had was unbearable. How could I deal with depression, how could I place the baby… All these questions were running through my head constantly.
What helped ease your concerns while going through the adoption process?
Thank you to both Foster Care Adoption Home and the adoptive family for supporting me through it all. Anytime I had a fear or I needed to ask a question, they were always there. No matter how late at night, no matter how early in the morning, I would always feel more secure in my choice.
How did Foster Care Adoption Home help you through the adoption process?
Foster Care Adoption Home has helped me through the process and I’m still in contact with them even now. They messaged me after the adoption was over to see how I was feeling and to make sure I was okay. Foster Care Adoption Home has helped me through everything they could, but they can only help so much when you are placing a child.
What were you looking for in an adoptive family?
The adoptive family I chose was everything I was looking for in a family. I wanted an open adoption and they were willing to give me that. I wanted a family full of love and support, and I wanted them to have a support system for when the baby could go home with them. They had everything they needed for him and a whole family to help them if they needed it. They always send me updates and I look forward to getting on Facebook and seeing all the pictures of their little boy.
How did your baby’s adoptive family help you through the adoption process?
The family I chose was a very sweet, loving, and kind family. They never imagined they would be receiving a call and finding out they were about to have a son. They supported me throughout the entire process and continue to be there for me.
What type of adoption did you choose?
I wanted an open adoption and the family was willing to give me that. They always send me updates and I look forward to getting on Facebook and seeing all the pictures of their little boy.
Describe your thoughts and emotions before and after the baby’s birth.
My thoughts and emotions ranged from every emotion in the book. After I gave birth and I heard my son’s cry, I started crying. It hurt so much knowing he wasn’t mine anymore. I fell into a pretty bad depression, which thankfully with the help of my parents, the adoptive family, and Foster Care Adoption Home, everything got better. I’m not saying the pain isn’t still there, it will always be there, but it gets easier over time. It’s been two years since I gave birth to him, and it gets easier except for holidays and his birthday.
What are you looking forward to now that the adoption process is completed?
I was right in my choice of adoption, and seeing the family with my little boy is proof that my choice was right. I look forward to continuing to see him grow through pictures and updates, and focusing on healing and being the best mother I can be to my daughter.
What advice would you give to other pregnant women who are considering adoption?
“To all birthmothers, don’t ever let anyone force you to do something you don’t want to do. If you’re not comfortable with choosing for yourself, then talk to someone, but don’t let them make your mind up for you. Take all the time you need to make a decision. Don’t just choose because you feel you have to, make the decision because you want to. When choosing a family, take your time and get to know them, don’t force it. Don’t make the decision based on you thinking they have money, do it because they show you and the unborn child love, and that it’s a right fit.”
